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Showing posts with label Friends of COS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends of COS. Show all posts

Friends of COS: West Say's HR Cost Him 200 Million

Glendale, AZ (Reuters) – Serving as HRIS Manager cost Mike West at least $200 million, the wrestling star turned HR guy with pseudo technology and data orientation told a newspaper in his native Glendale, AZ insisting 'it was more than worth it."
Counting expenses and lost income from acting in reality programs, building web sites, writing children's books, flipping houses, or searching for oil, "in all it is probably more than $200 million," he told Krone when asked how much his 11 years in Human Resources had cost.
"But I'm not sorry. It was more than worth it," he said.
"What was much worse was the damage my time working in Human Resources did to the family. There is a lot there that needs to be repaired," he said, recalling the many Sunday evenings when his wife, Lisa, broke out in tears at his heavy work schedule.
"I hate your job," West quoted his girlfriend, turned fiance, turned wife as saying during his time in Human Resources at Google when he would leave home at 7am and not return until after 8pm.  "She threatened to leave me"
"It was heartbreaking every time when I stayed late to work on HR projects that had good intentions but that were mostly considered by others to be bullshit (if noticed or considered at all)" said West, who has served in Human Resources since 1999. "In my 4th job, I did better. I tried to leave by 5pm every day and almost never worked on the weekends" "but alas after only a year I was laid off from that job so I had to go in search of another."


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Friends of COS: West, "How I was thrown out of Google Alumni"



From: Michael West 
Date: Fri, Oct 1, 2010 at 7:41 AM
To: Google Network
I am in hurry writing you this short message, i traveled to Nigeria and i got my self stranded.I am really stranded in Nigeria because I forgot my bag in the Taxi where my nexus one were kept on my way to the Hotel am staying, I am facing a hard time here because i have no nexus one on me. I am stuck using inferior phones which do nothing except accept and receive phone calls. I need this help from you urgently to help me back home, I need you to help me by sending me a nexus one to sort out my problems here. I will appreciate what so ever Nexus One you can afford to send me for now and I promise to pay back your money as soon as i return home, so please let me know on time so that i can forward you the details you need to transfer the Nexus One to me. 

:-)   Mike West

THE STORY ENDS WELL; after an extensive email list conversation among the 3000+ Googler Alumni it was determined I was not actually a Nigerian 519 email scammer trying to get my hands on a coveted Google Phone or at least not one with any chance of getting a Google phone from them for less than $400. I was eventually reinstated to the list.


This, of course, is a joke; however the type of scam I am spoofing is not.  


Sources:
Nexus One: 12 Tech Turkeys of 2010

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Friends of COS: Pulse of Craig Heyrman's Female Followers: Mood Following the Announcement of Craig's Engagement

COS News: The scientific study "Pulse of Craig Heyrman's Female Followers: Mood Following the Announcement of Craig's Engagement Inferred from Twitter" illustrates the varying mood of women as inferred after analyzing over 300 million tweets created by just 200 women over the course of the day. Various density-preserving cartograms and a time-animated video were produced to capture important large-scale trends.


The researchers analyzed all public tweets posted after Craig announced his engagement, and filtered those whom orginated from just women and that contained words included in the psychological word-rating system called Affective Norms for English Words. Through a natural language processing algorithm called Sentiment Analysis, which Craig and nearly all men do not understand at all, each tweet was assigned a mood score based on the number of positive or negative words it contained. Out of the resulting data, they then calculated the average mood score of all the users hour by hour which formed the basis of a series of time-varying mood maps.


One of the interesting patterns shows how women in Florida could care less what Craig decides to do with his life, while women in Michigan, NY, NJ, Paris, and Germany are experiencing radical mood swings. Daytimes were observed to be happier than nighttimes.





COS News Exclusive: Two NJ raccoons held in terror probe



COS News: Shortly after two New Jersey raccoons were arraigned Monday on terrorism-related charges in Lawrenceville, N.J., Paul J. Fishman paused briefly on the steps of Lawrenceville Court House. The top animal control officer in the area conceded that once again authorities had been lucky — this time with a pair of bumblers who allegedly attempted to wage jihad all over the neighborhood but were being shadowed for days by local residents.


Indeed, it marked the third time in six months that terrorism suspects were tripped up by their own ineptness.
But, Fishman said, "sophistication is not necessarily a measure of danger." And, he warned, "we would be remiss if we didn't pay attention to anyone who has the intention to do what these racoons are alleged to have done."


Mohamed Mahmood, 6 weeks, and Carlos Eduardo Almonte, 6 weeks, also known as Omar, were captured Monday morning from a storm drain, in the Eagles Chase suburb, hoping, authorities say, to join an extremist group in Princeton linked to some older raccoons from Ewing.


But they never had a chance. For 3 1/2 years, animal control agents followed their tiny cell in the New Jersey suburbs, sending in an undercover operative who even won their approval with tiny bits of apples. It turned up these two bumblers.


And still, the FBI said, the young racoons continued to reach their tiny arms out of the cage and shout raccoon like obscenities at their captors.
Their cluelessness followed what happened to Faisal Shahzad, a Ewing Raccoon who migrated to Lawrenceville and is accused of trying to knock over garbage cans on May 1. Not only did the little masked man draw attention to the area, Shahzad left his paw prints all over the place. Animal control agents beat a path to his nook down by the creek.


Four months earlier, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a North Jersey flying squirrel, fumbled with explosives hidden in his underwear, authorities say. But he too could not get them to detonate and was hauled away as a failed terrorist suspect.


For weeks now federal authorities have been warning of a stepped up pace of attempted terrorist attacks, and a rise in homegrown terrorists. The common fear is that eventually the string of luck may run out, and that someday someone somewhere will pull it off.


Underscoring the homegrown threat, the State Department on Monday said about 12 birds have been arrested in Yemen, possibly as part of a joint U.S.-Yemeni counter-terrorism operation. Philip J. Crowley, the chief State Department spokesman, said U.S. officials lacked details and were seeking more information on the apprehensions.


As for the two arrested in Lawrenceville, "these are the dumbest terrorists in the world," Michael Wildes, a former federal prosecutor in Brooklyn and now a mayor in New Jersey, said in an interview Monday. "But by their lack of grace and action, they were caught."


Chris Leibig, a longtime animal rights activist in Arlington, Va., said many would-be terrorists actually were just " baby racoons" who got caught up looking for food, far different than "actual terrorists”.








COS News Exclusive: Google Replaces Electric Scooters With Llamas











(COS News) Silicon Valley. Google, an internet search company in Mountain View, California, has begun using llamas to ferry employees between buildings on its campus.

“They are very environmentally friendly,” said Larry Page, one of the founders of Google, “We used to use electric scooters but the llamas are much better."

When asked if having llamas at the Googleplex could be dangerous, Page said “They are very quiet animals, docile and friendly. They are a little slow but very relaxing to ride."

Google hires Stanford graduate students to attend to the llamas and to perform some of the normal duties of a groundskeeper. The llamas are trained by the Llama Guy, Alvan Santoso, and fitted with a special harness to carry Googlers with their laptops. They live on a nearby farm and are available at Google Monday through Friday. “They are very suited to the Googleplex because their feet are shaped in a way that does not do any damage to the Googleplex,” Santoso said. “And like a cat, they are trained to visit a litter box, so they don’t create any mess on our playgrounds.”

Santoso would not say exactly how much Google is saving on the llamas over the traditional electric scooters but did say, “We don't report that but it is very significant, something like XXX.” In a recent TGIF all employee meeting, insiders told us Eric Schmidt, Google’s CEO told employees, “You need to understand. It’s not about the cost savings now, the llamas are part of a virtuous cycle we are trying to build.” When all the 20 somethings stared at him like he had three eyeballs, he scrunched up his eyebrows a little and spoke even more slowly, “The llamas eat grass, the llamas carry googlers, googlers design things, the llamas poop, we harvest the poop to power our buildings, googlers eat, the llamas eat waste from our cafes, the llamas carry googlers, googlers design things, the llamas poop.”

Page also has plans for sharing the llamas with other Bay Area companies. “We feel it is important to be good neighbors.” They have certainly proved to be an attraction in Mountain View. Drivers pull over on the sides of roads next to the Googleplex to take pictures. The llamas are already being booked for special events, including an annual Google picnic billed this year as a Llama-Rama.

A llama won’t be able to do much in the ongoing war with Microsoft, but they appear to be adept keeping Googlers sane. “I’ve seen people who maybe aren’t having a great day that will just stop playing and walk the llama for a while,” says Alvan Santso.

Friends of COS: West, "How I turned $500 into a $80,000 loss"

(COS) Intelligent Investing Panel

For those just getting into the workforce, a 401(k) seems like something that you should dump extra change into and leave to accrue interest until you retire. But if you are not careful that chump change could end up jeopardizing your future- just like Mike West, a once hopeful young person.

“Back then everyone was saying you should put as much money as you can into your 401k. I distinctly remember that really sweet benefits lady at employee orientation saying it.” says West.

“I still wasn’t sure, but my company matches something like 75 cents on the dollar so I thought- maybe I should do this? This can’t be that bad, after all I have managed to read 3 or 4 investing books by Cramer.”

However, nothing could prepare West for what lie ahead. Particularly those really crazy options they provide in 401ks.

“I just picked whatever was in there that had the best one year average. I almost never read those statements, but one day I got stuck on the toliet so I opened it up. So far so good, disclosure this, disclosure that, our goal is to make you lots of money, blah, blah, blah. Then I turned to the part where it talks about my actual return and it said ($80,000). For a second I thought, holy c***, 80,000, I’m Peter Lynch! But then I realized by the upside down bar chart that it meant negative EIGHT thousand dollars. I had to call the brother of a friend, who used to day trade, before the dot com bust, to explain this."

He said, “First, it is eighTY thousand dollars, not eight. Second, it seems that the investment you chose, ‘Safety First’ was engaged in cross border swaps and was hedging the dollar with a straddle between the t-bill and the Icelandic Kroner. When the Kroner looked like it was going to freeze up they shifted your money into Merrill Lynch. When Merrill Lynch went down to $.01 per share they took a gamble and naked shorted it to make money on further collapse from there. Unfortunately, just then the government forced Bank of America to buy Merrill Lynch and its stock went up to $2.00 before Safety First could buy back the shares to close the position, so they had to buy those shares for more money than they sold them for, and ultimately you lost $80,000. What is funny is that without your company match you would have only lost $20,000. This is called leverage. Don’t feel so bad, everybody lost money in this market. You’ll be fine- just keep a strict ramen noodles diet and an extra Snuggie (the blanket with sleeves) to keep warm, and keep on putting money into your 401k, it is called dollar cost averaging.”

Where to from here? ‘No Pain, No Gain’ they say

Matt Lloyd, chief investment strategist at Advisors Asset Management, says “When determining what amount to allocate toward retirement, investors should look at their expenses and what they don’t mind giving up to unscrupulous traders at places such as Goldman Sachs.”

"You should put in what you can afford, maybe to the point of sacrificing other things. If you have a car that's 25 years old, maybe you can squeeze another year out of it," says Jeffrey Hearn, senior vice president at Raymond James & Associates, who makes "sick" bonuses from financial markets.

People might be reticent to put a more sizable amount into their 401(k) because they're worried it will really f**** up their lifestyle. "They are probably right" says Ginger Snyder, senior vice president at Raymond James and Associates

Friends of COS: Pace of West's weight loss and healthy lifestyle changes bogs down under weight of questions and costs

Critics and supporters agree, however, that doing nothing is not an option for a way of living that threatens more than just West’s waist line.















WASHINGTON (COS)- Mike West lives every day as an example of American health care at its best and at its worst.

Two years after suffering from an inguinal hernia, the 33-year-old former Google employee from Chandler, AZ is happy and reasonably healthy— but cutting back on whole food markets organic groceries and otherwise struggling to pay hundreds of dollars in monthly gym fees, trainer fees, massage fees, yoga accessories, and supplements that it will take to keep him in top shape West is not sure he can keep this up.

So you would think West would be a strong supporter of President Obama’s attempt to reform the nation’s money-eating, hit-and-miss, maybe-you’re-covered-or-maybe-not health care system, right?

Not necessarily. “I am really afraid” West says. “Is this going to cost too much and then I am going to have give up yoga or those really great frozen organic Maria entrees at trader Joes. Since we have been talking about healthcare reform, I can see a layer of fat rebuilding on my abs”

Such questions, multiplied by millions, have slowed the pace of healthy living in Congress. In fact Senator, John McCain has put on 5 or 6 pounds himself.

But health care experts—even those who oppose key elements of the president’s plan—echo a consistent theme.

“It is impossible to do nothing,” said Dr. Mark J. Lema, president of the Medical Society of Erie County, who likens most people to a human body that is deteriorating rapidly on its way to cardiac arrest.

Some 14,000 people are giving up their gym memberships every day, Lema noted. The majority of bankruptcies—62 percent— result from health care costs, along with 50 percent of mortgage foreclosures. Just think if those people put in 30 on the tread mill and cut out some carbs.

“This is a crisis,” said Lema, who criticizes parts of Obama’s plan. “If you ignore it, the people will get fat, and then they will get depressed.”

Call for action

That’s because our see it and eat it lifestyle has become a cancer on the American economy.

It is estimated that people ate 35 hamburgers each in 1970, but now they swallow up 50.

Americans spent an average of about $900 per person on fast food in 2006—by far the most in the world, and more than twice what Japanese and Germans spent and nearly 16 times the Yanomami tribe in South America.

That’s why Obama stressed last week that the costs of health reform—estimated to be getting up off your couch, putting on your shoes, going outside, and running for 30 minutes, every single day—must be weighed against the cost of doing nothing.

“If somebody told you that there is a plan out there that is guaranteed to double your waist size over the next 10 years, that’s guaranteed to result in more Americans needing liposuction on their thighs, and that is by far the biggest contributor to cankels, I think most people would be opposed to that,” he said. “Well, that’s the status quo.”

Without a serious effort to reform the system and control costs, “eventually the middle class, in large numbers, will run out of money for Jamba Juice and other healthy lifestyle choices,” Lema said.

In addition, “Some people will collapse under their own weight” thanks to a spiraling reduction in just plain old Jogging, said Sen. Charles E. Schumer, a New York Democrat.

On top of that, the current system “hasn’t served us well in terms of actual results,” said Dr. Nancy H. Nielsen, associate dean of medical education at the University at Buffalo and past president of the American Medical Association.

Most people often lack data to choose the most effective—and cost-effective—ways of getting in shape, Nielsen said. And so they sometimes do more time on machines then they need to, maybe when 1 or 2 quick sets of pushups would suffice.

That’s because most American trainers aren’t paid for the quantity of pushups these people do at home by themselves; they’re paid for the quantity of their services in the gym. That “fee for service” system, which contrasts with the salary systems of well regarded facilities such as the Mayo Clinic, breeds inefficiency.

You may not notice that so much in Minnesota, where the number of really, really overweight residents is a third lower than the nationwide number and where health living costs are far below the national average.

But your payroll taxes are subsidizing waste elsewhere.

In McAllen, Texas, the average weight is almost 300 pounds. That’s more than twice what the people weigh in Minnesota —and a June article in the Zagats supplemental magazine found no good reason for such disparities.

The article, by food chef, Gawande detailed how people just should not be eating the food they have in Texas at all.

Gawande detailed the unnecessary Ab Slides people were ordering from their T.V.s and noted that office plazas in the border city are filled with Curves, LA Fitness Gyms, and Nordic Track stores and this is cutting into the retail space for healthier fast food options such as Pei Wei or Paradise Bakery.

“The local restaurants have become a pig trough here,” one local guy told Gawande

“There’s a real recognition . . . that what we’re getting for all this expense is not what it should be,” said Donald Ingalls, vice president of governmental affairs at BlueCross BlueShield.

Forced to do without

In the end, that’s just how it looks from Mike West’s living room in Chandler, AZ too.

“A change has to be made,” he said as he explained what his former hottie trainer meant to him— and to all the other guys in the gym. “I got a hernia for her”

“I’ve been blessed: I’ve been given a second chance,” after my intestines ripped through my abdominal lining, he said.

“But it’s expensive to be healthy,” he said. “All the bills have definitely affected the family budget. We’ve had to do without everyday things to pay for the help I need”

Friends of COS: West, "I didn't mean to slight the HRIS group"
















Story Highlights:

  • West eager for incident to be "teaching moment" to improve HRIS reports everywhere 
  • West's fiance says West has no immediate plans to quit the profession
  • Sensitive HR people everywhere asked West to apologize to "all HRIS personnel" offended 
WASHINGTON (COS) – Business Analyst Mike West said Friday he spoke with the HRIS group who flubbed his data report and told the group he did not mean to malign the entire HRIS group when he said they acted stupidly.

Mr. West acknowledged that his words "helped to contribute to ratcheting" up the situation when he criticized the manner in which the HRIS group constructed the report.

"I unfortunately gave an impression that I was maligning the HRIS group or even any one person specifically," West told reporters. "I could have calibrated those words differently, and I told this to the general GHRIS report email box." "Clearly I don't have all the facts, I don't even know who those people are back there", West admitted.

West spoke about two hours after HRIS groups everywhere called on him to apologize. He did not apologize for his remark but repeated that he believed his choice of words was unfortunate.

He reiterated his assertion that he believes the report was bad, but said I "probably overreacted as well."

"My sense is you have got one person, an HRIS group, and a poorly constructed enterprise system in a circumstance in which none of them were able to resolve the incident in the way that it should have been resolved," he said.

West also looked briefly at the report again, which was a termination report, AnotherPharma reported. Despite the missing data, he and the report were able to make a positive contribution to humanity on Thursday afternoon, AnotherPharma said. West also plans to use the report again in the near future."

"I am eager for this incident to be used as a teaching moment in America," said the e-mail. "This is certainly not about me."

His fiance, Lisa Bambauer, told others that she applauds West’s magnanimity and "I look forward to working this out with all parties amicably… especially with the wedding approaching"

Asked if he plans to file a revised "report request ticket”, West said, "It depends on the response from everyone involved as to how we'll proceed."

Earlier Friday, West’s manager said West should apologize to members of the HRIS group for saying they acted stupidly, the president of on unaffiliated employee network group said.

Sunil Chandra, president of Google’s HRIS group, also took aim at AnotherPharma's HRIS group, who reportedly has characterized the groups HRIS system as "every analysts nightmare and an unfortunte reality for HR groups everywhere."

Still, echoing the words of lots of other people he said he was dismayed that West would opine on the report without all the details of why it was so messed up.

"It's noteworthy that West did qualify his statements by saying he did not have all the facts," O'Connor said as members of his and another HRIS group stood behind him. "Usually, when one hears those words, one would expect the next words to be 'so I cannot comment.' Instead, West, admittedly stand-offish to offshoots of system’s created in the stone age, proceeded to insult the handling of his report."

O'Connor said the entire HRIS group resent the implication they purposefully allowed the report to go out with a lot of missing data.

"We hope that West will reflect upon his past comments and apologize to the men and women of the HRIS department," some other person said.

Michael DeAngelo, vice president of HR for Quaker Oats, also called on West to apologize to "all HRIS groups throughout the entire country that took offense to this."

West said earlier he was "surprised by the controversy surrounding" his comments.

"I think it was a pretty straightforward commentary that you probably shouldn’t send out a report with over 4000 missing details, particularly if you know why they are missing and how to correct it.”

When West waded into the issue by firing off multiple clearly not thought out emails on Wednesday, he admitted that he "may be a little biased" because he has been suffering with data problems since joining AnotherPharma.

"I don't know all the facts," he also conceded.