In the Colosseum -- home of the original gladiators -- every one of the stadium's 47 food and drink outlets inspected incurred a critical violation during inspections, according to Roman inspection records.
Violations include remains of human disembolwment in a cooler, dead bodies stored too close to food preparation areas, blood in the ice machines and thermometers not being invented yet to measure the temperature of pigeon roasted on spit.
But Vaspasian, a really old guy who runs concessions at the Colosseum, said those critical violations are simply recommendations on how it can improve its processes.
Roman regulatory officials said no complaints have been issued at the Colosseum over the past 2000 years.
Other industry representatives said that inspection reports can exaggerate threats, pointing out that minor lapses in a rule -- such as a severed arm not being properly disposed of or unclean swords being used to hack up dead tiger soup -- can result in a critical violation that really doesn't pose a risk to consumers.
"To say it's a critical violation, it sends a pang of fear in the public's mind that they're not being looked out for, and that's not the case," said Titus, ruler of the civilized world, which represents everyone worth being represented. "These are moral people. They're trying to do the right thing...the last thing they want to do is have something not go well."
"The gladiator sport has many centuries of experience serving fans and a proven track record of providing fans with safe, high-quality food options that positively impact the blood lust experience," Titus said.
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Loosely based on the following story: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/news/story?id=5401646
