World Bankers Are Looking at Shaquille O’Neill, Primarily For His Ability to Rebound
Bankers admire Shaqs uncanny ability to box people out and steal things from thin air. Also Analysts estimate he only has a few years left in the NBA so they may be able to pick him up cheap.
Professor Proposes New Tests for Washington
Giving up on judgment and leadership, Dr. James Alt is trying to build a test that will search for evidence that these people are not inclined to a chinchilla-ish urge to have sex with anything nearby. “It could be genetic”
Taliban Can’t Figure Out Why Their Printer is no Longer Working
We told it to not jam. It jammed. I used my sword on it. Praise be to Allah.
Midwest Saved From Foreclosure by Poor Recordkeeping After the Louisiana Purchase
The French hoped to recover from "the worst business deal ever" by foreclosing on the entire Midwestern United States and reselling it to Saudi Arabia for mere dollars on the Euro. However, there is a loophole- French historians can't find the orginal note from the Louisiana Purchase.
