Having consumed all the available "green shoots", the US consumer is now turning to backyard chickens. There is nothing quite like walking outside in the morning to gather fresh eggs for your breakfast! Inclusion Of Desert Tortoise In Endangered Species List Sought
Arizona Sonoran Desert Tortoise's feel threatened by soccer moms. In their petition, the tortoise's complain that their habitat gets backed over by SUVs and that they have to dig around for tiny morsels between empty Starbuck's Venti Carmel Machiato cups.Larry Fitzgerald Agrees to Play Without Expensive Equipment to Ensure Return of Teammate Anquan Boldin
"I want to make it very clear I will do everything I can to keep him in Arizona. I'll dive over opponents without my jockstrap if I have to" says Fitzgerald. This move is supposed to ease the Cardinals' salary cap crunch, however, it's unclear how much it will actually help.
Southern Madigascar Overtaken by Angry Lemurs The mob of angry leumrs consumed even more territory in the last 24 hours, but for the first time in a week of losing ground to the lemurs people today expressed optimism that their efforts to appease the lemurs with chinese takeout were having an effect. Dietrich downgraded the lemurs as no longer "angry," but "cranky." 
Disney Buys MarvelAs a result of a their acquisition by Disney, Captain America and Spiderman are forced to use their super powers to amuse children.
