Unemployed Are Giving Up All Their Remaining Money to Aid The Economy
Tens of thousands of unemployed workers are giving up their last dollar, partly to aid the economy and partly to appease the ‘Tea Parties’ and the numbers in this ‘Unemployed and Impoverished for America Movement’ are expected to soar in the months to come.
Cash For Couches Program Declared a Success
New-couch shoppers appear to have already snapped up all the $1 billion that Congress appropriated for the “cash for couches” program, leading the Unemployment Division of the Labor Department to tell the president to stop offering the rebates.
Dinosaurs Remains Found in Iraq After 65 Million Years
Marines in Iraq found the remains of a dinosaur, that died in the opening hours after a comet strike, which was followed by an ice age. The military denies trying to replicate this technology.
White House Points to %&?Whack Economic Revival
Top economic officials of the Obama administration gave whack assessments of the American economy, asserting that the national car, a low rider, probably bottomed out over those sick shopping mall speed bumps and could now have a hole in the oil pan.
